The best cure for a dry mouth is a wet vagina.


or maybe try some water dumbass

guinness world records man: sir you have done nothing but do pushups from this one spot for 20 years with no rest. what drives you?
me, still doing pushups: i wanna push this planet out of the idiot solar system and into the horrifying abyss of the unknown universe and this is the only way I know how
world records man, in awe: [drops everything and instantly begins doing pushups next to me]

and suddenly i realised…


…i was my own problematic fave

This is gonna sound so stupid but what is a fuckboy? lol


fuckboy symptoms:

  • timothy over here askin’ for nudes when all u did was say hello
  • connor who won’t calm down with his axe spray tryna infect ya lungs
  • colin adding #420 to his bio when he smoked weed one time
  • gregory mad cause u didn’t blow him after the first date

how to spot a fuckboy:

  • white nike tube socks with his adidas sandals
  • he wants to play 20 questions (!!!!!!!!! do not play !!!!!!!!!!! especially if there’s a “;)” involved)
  • relies on his mom but doesn’t respect women
  • looks like he just read one of jaden smith’s tweets in all of his selfies
  • can’t find the clitoris

fuckboys come in all shapes and sizes and results may vary but when he a fuckboy…he a fuckboy…and u will know


U N L E A S H  T H E  B E E S


U N L E A S H  T H E  B E E S

139,708 plays




please marry me


The girl you just called hot? That me


cash or credit, fuckboy


cash or credit, fuckboy


*is super cute & super gay*



i’m at kohl’s and they have an extraordinarily frumpy grandpa sweater with an american flag on it someone please draw steve rogers in this sweater


sam’s 94 year old grandma knitted it for him and she used to have a big crush on captain america.